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In 2008, a Dutch dictionary company declared the winner of its esteemed "word of the year" competition was swaffelen, which means "to whip out your penis and hit something with it." And to quickly answer the question that 100 percent of you are asking, yes, the word is referencing an activity that apparently occurs there with some frequency. Penis whipping the world is (or at least was) a craze in the Netherlands, if not an expression of downright national pride. You remember "planking," right? Well this is dick planking..

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Perhaps you are simply riding the subway. Somebody across from you is reading "Me Talk Pretty One Day," or another Sedaris gem. You lean over to that person and say, "I read that book, too." Wait a beat, then unleash the punchline: "When I was in a coma!" (This one doesn't make that much sense, but if you say it fast enough they will probably ignore the glaring logic problem of trying to read something while in a coma.).

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